Winona plays herself in Dr. Katz Professional Therapist

We only found out about this animated television series, which often features celebrities voicing their own characters on the therapist's couch, while doing some Winona reasearch.  In the 1996 episode "Monte Carlo" we find Our Winona as a cartoon character relating her life growing up on a commune in Petaluma, California. Dr. Katz is a clever show, and we watched several other episodes when we ordered the discs from Netflix, but gave up watching the rest of the series because the shaky animation gave us a headache.

Final verdict: three croquet balls

The Letter - a truly forgettable film

According to our Netflix "shipping activity" we watched The Letter as recently as October 2012, but neither of us remembered doing so. While we were viewing it, I did recognize a few scenes, but James never saw anything that jogged his memory. In this slow moving film, Our Winona plays a playwright / director who is slowly sinking into mental illness. She is unable to tell fantasy from reality, and the audience winds up with the same problem. Many scenes are virtually silent, without even a music soundtrack - a bold choice in direction to be sure, but ultimately it just really makes it hard to stay awake.  A good movie to watch if you have insomnia.

We like metafiction and even meta-metafiction, but in this case, the play-within-a-play unfolds in such a tentative, mumbling fashion that it does not reward the viewer's attention. As with many of Our Winona's films, there is an element of sexual tension, as an erotic impulse in the non-story is brought close to the edge of her limits of on-screen chasteness. Unfortunately, this occurs late in the film and through too many layers of separation to be of much interest.

Final verdict: 2 croquet balls

Black Swan

When James and I watched Boys last night we discussed whether we had seen it before or not. It wasn't familiar enough to either of us, though, to think we could have blogged about it without re-watching. I then said we would probably have to re-watch everything before we could blog about it, but then realized we were not about to waste two hours of our lives on seeing this piece of crap again. Everything about this movie was painful to watch; from the self-mutilation, to the stage-mother madness, to Our Winona's performance. I cannot understand why it got such rave reviews. When James posted this comment on Facebook "Just saw Black Swan. Still don't know what we were missing, as apparently we are still missing it." He got several snide comments including this from a film professor "As I understand it, it was a movie about muscular backs", and another colleague responded with this understatement "apparently there's lotta of pressure in ballet." Our favorite comment, though, came from our UU church friend who shared that this satire "made more sense"
More at imdb.

Final Verdict: one croquet ball


Lagniappe: Worker Rights

This just in (June 12, 2013). Despite being Noni's worst films and one of the greatest wastes of celluloid on record, Black Swan has made a contribution to the rights of workers and students, by its fine, negative example. Internships offer valuable learning opportunities, sometimes in exchange for little or no pay. On Black Swan, the interns gave up pay but learned nothing, and took work away from payable employees. The transgression of the concept of internship (as distinct from education on the one hand and slavery on the other) was so outrageous that even the U.S. Supreme Court declared it unlawful. This was a rare, unanimous decision!

Boys

What could the lovey Patty Vare (Our Winona) be hiding? She is so evasive with the police officer who stops by her really big house to question her. And when she is discovered by some prep school boys after accidently falling off her horse she lies about who she is. Secreted into the boys' dorm she wreaks havoc, and then leaves with handsome, yet predictably snarky, scholarship student John Baker (Lucas Haas). Made in 1996 this movie was probably not meant to have a theme of un-examined privilege, but if I were teaching a course about it I would certainly use it for that purpose. There are a lot of one-dimensional, predictable characters, (mostly authority figures) that the audience is clearly supposed to sneer at, while cheering on Vare and Baker. I frankly found none of the characters like-able, and the story was unadulterated adolescent boy/older woman fantasy, but overall not a horrible way to spend an 86 minutes. See more at imdb.

Final verdict: three croquet balls

Heathers - One of the best films ever made

On the occasion of my twenty-fourth birthday, back in 1988, I read a review of a movie called Heathers in the Cincinnati Enquirer newspaper. I remember the phrase "dark comedy about teenage suicide" which immediately intrigued me. I have always preferred satire to the typical "rom com" or utterly unbelievable "action film" rot that is usually produced by Hollywood.  I shared the review with my husband, and we made plans to go to the movies that night.

The movie was clever, funny, dark, and (best of all) set in Ohio (our home at the time). We were the only people in the theater laughing when Christian Slater as (J.D.) holds up a bottle of Perrier water explains to Our Winona (asVeronica) that it is a "perfecto homosexual artifact". When Veronica protests he goes on to say "this is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress." 

I don't know how many times we've seen this film - more than ten but less than twenty. We never get tired of it. It is fresh and funny every time. The writers did a great job of creating something that is so intrinsically '80s without becoming dated.

The original and best, "Mean Girls" film, a timeless classic. 

Final verdict - 5 croquet balls

Lagniappe -- Global Pandemic Update

See  our WWND post for a 2020 update.

Little Women - A film for the holidays

While looking for something to watch to kick-off the holiday season, I remembered that we owned a copy of this on VHS, still in the shrink wrap - a gift from a family member many years ago. We'd seen the movie before, and remembered loving it, so we held on to the tape in case we ever wanted to watch it again. In addition to being a heart-warming Christmas movie, it is a a perfect first entry for this blog. Our Winona earned a well-deserved Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Jo March in this wonderful adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's classic story. While their father is away fighting in the Civil war four sisters and their mother live full and enriching lives, even as they endure financial hardship and heartache.  Jo's character is a wonderful venue for Ryder to display her talent. She demonstrates a range of emotions from elation, to grief, to love, as well as anger, humility, and empathy. Ryder moves effortlessly between rough and tumble tomboy, and thoughtful, independent, young woman with dreams of becoming a writer.

Great performances all around from Susan Sarandon (Marmee); a young Kirsten Dunst (Amy); Claire Danes (Beth); and Trini Alvardo (Meg).

Final verdict: 5 croquet balls

We Have Our Standards

We are Wynona Ryder completists (or compleatists, if you will). This means that -- ever since seeing Heathers on the relatively big screen in Ohio when it first opened -- we have endeavored to see every film in which she has appeared.

Why do we do this? We are not exactly sure, except that once we started, we could not abandon this mission. Her work can politely be described as eclectic. Now spanning two decades, it includes not only quirky kids and sardonic teens and hipsters, but some roles that are grown-up, bordering on matronly. Not only the age differs, though; especially after her legal troubles, she seemed willing to take roles that her agent would not have shown her in Edward Scissorhands days.

All of this is to say that we are the kinds of fans who will admit when our star is not shining so brightly. Our rating system, naturally, involves a certain lawn sport.

Was this directed by her parole officer?

Must be one of her comebacks.

Good enough for non-fans.

That's our Noni!

Heathers